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The Hardest Part of Do It Yourself is, Well, Doing it Yourself :: Wiring for & Hanging a TV with Justin Bieber

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We used to have a saying in these parts — “Do it yourself, doesn’t mean do it alone.”  And it, in fact, may have been that thought, paired with some other thoughts, which spawn the working phrase “Do It Together.”  You’ll find that in our tagline above.

But I mention it here only in passing, I have no plans to delve into my (mostly unproven) business philosophies.  Instead, I have work to do.  And in this case, I have to punch out items in and around our newly installed kitchen hutch, and bench.  That, and I need to install a new 46″ Samsung LCD — our first ever “hi-def” TV.

Fortunate for me, I can usually find a hand when I need it.  I have a wife that knows her way around a house, I have a friend . . . or two (though I often do not ask for help), and I even have some, well, connections. But wooo…!  How’s this for serendipitous?  Check it >> While on his most recent tour, and in support of his movie (me *ahem* let me remind you, fresh off a trip to New York City’s Fashion Week) — I dialed his management up.  The specifics around that discussion, my people say — I should not share.  But anyway, anywho — some way, some how — this happened.

Editor’s Note: In this flight of fancy, the role of Justin Bieber ( JB ) is played by a life size cut-out my daughters received as a  Christmas gift. I am course play myself – jb. ~jb, editor @ BuildingMoxie.com.

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Wiring TV for a Kitchen Hutch

First up — the hutch situation, and wiring for a TV here. But while staring at this mess of wires in front of me, I found myself simply shaking my head . . . and saying, “Man — I’ll NEVER get my todo list done this weekend!”

Just then, and almost like it was choreographed  — he slid in, and said . . . “Never… Say Nevar!”

Utterly starstruck, and stoked to have a visitor, I gasped, “JB!”

That’s right! — JB 2.0, on the scene, and he was going to give me a hand with some stuff around the house this weekend.

And like that. Bam! JB turns to me, flipping head — his hair strangely not moving; he says, “See, that’s almost done.”

“Accck . . . ! I say.  “Whatever Bieber.  Let me hook up this low voltage stuff.  Ummm — go play my guitar or something.”

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And I busy myself, as guitar sounds come from the other room.

Then this dialog ensues:

jb (that’s me): “Yeah I know (almost talking to myself) — Mr. Cabinet Guy kinda dropped the ball on this one; he still needs to do *errrmm* a few things, and I’m not sure if I am totally happy, but . . . I’m gonna install these lid closers anyway.”  *holding spanking new hardware from Rockler and pointing to the new maple bench at my right*

JB: “But . . . “

jb: “But nothing, just hold this . . . please.”

. . . .

jb: “Good! Done. Thanks, man . . . I mean — I’m not really down with … you know — your music, but you’re ayright.  And my daughters seem like you.  Now all that’s left for today is”

music plays

JB:  “. . .  ohhha ohhhha wooohhha a wooohooa wohhha . . . Ba-by, Ba-by, Ba-

jb: “F*** that sh**! We still have work to do before the wife gets home. Come on, Man! I gotta get this (pointing to the Samsung) onto that (space below the pass thru) wall . . . .” (Ha! Bieber . . . . They like Big Time Rush better anyhow.)

JB: *posing*

jb: “What?!!!! Get your hands out of your pockets! . . . .”

But “Work” Continues

JB*applying lip balm* “OK, I can . . .”

jb: “. . . Just help me carry this TV upstairs. It’s heavy.” *rolling eyes and under breath* “Kids!”

JB: “OK. . . . but Mr. jb.  Uhhh, don’t you have to hook up all the electrical things on this wall? And maybe you might want to clean this chimney . . . and poly it . . . before you install that expensive television . . . . It’s bad enough, you didn’t do it before this sweet cherry counter . . . .”

jb*blank stare*

JB: “. . . I mean — this all could have been avoided if you were a better tuck pointer . . . . And not to mention that you are still thinking about re-designing the top portion of your hutch . . . which you just . . . .”

jb*suddenly intense stare*

JB:  ” . . . A-Yeah, it’s kinda out of scale.  I mean – shouldn’t you have . . . ?”

. . . .

! ! ! !

* * * *

. . . . *roundhouse kick/chuck norris to the head*

jb*Turning quickly to the camera* “Roadhouse.” (That’s a Family Guy reference – see below.)

>>>>

*scene*

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Seriously Though

For more on how to hang a flat panel TV, our article – How to Mount a TV.

The final bit from this reenactment comes from the season 8 episode Brian Gets a Brand New Bag of the Fox Television show “Family Guy.”  That bit was inspired itself by the 1989 film “Road House” starring Patrick Swayze.  And that, above was, in fact, a dramatization.  Sorry.  That was not actually Justin Bieber, and no I do not know him nor do I know his management personally.  It is true that I am only *ahem* luke warm on his music.  I did get the TV hung that day. But alas we are, that’s right still not finished remodeling, and suddenly, I have a full list of outside stuff I must work on.

There was a point to this post (it is all fun and games around here), but I have decided to save it instead for the next time.  This and the next will tie nicely into my last, The Ten Essential Tools for Homeowners, I hope.

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Thanks for reading. Back at you with more Do It Togethers again soon. ~jb

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