The Language of the English Bathroom . . . or just . . . Yeah, Big in England . . . Indeed!
You may or may not have heard, but we are getting pretty big in England. I mean I don’t know how or why it is happening (*cough* Stumbleupon) and I think it is a little odd because we, and minus a few exceptions (Ana M. Manzo), don’t really have an international focus. But still our traffic from the “other side of the pond” continues to grow. And, well, I figure – it’s about time to brush up on my King’s English. I mean – it’s the least I can do . . . (giver) . . . but first, a story.
As a senior at the then Towson State University, I have the opportunity to study aboard. And as an English major, to me — there seemed only one logical choice – England, the mother land. Through the program at Towson, I had the opportunity to pick from one of three universities, each in a different English city. London, Leicester or, well, I can’t really remember the third option. I picked, and some would initially say “Why?!” – Leicester. It falls in the area of the country known as the Midlands (pronounced Mi-lyns).
Two reasons for my pick: 1. I was a finalist for a research grant that would have allowed me to study inter-connectivity (notice the life theme) in some of Shakespeare’s works. Leicester was simply geographically closer to Stratford-upon-Avon, his hometown, and where I planned do most of my research … and 2. I guess I was looking for a little more of a “Middle America” kinda thing (though some might suggest I wouldn’t get that in Leicester). I was not in fact awarded that grant (I finished second), but my pick already made — off to Leicester I went.
While Leicester certainly provided a different experience (in some regards), I’d imagine it was likely still very much similar to what I would have gotten in many other parts of the country. Most universities drew folks, well, from around the world – and this school was no different. The dormitory in which I lived was likely built in the ‘60s (yes, a total guess) and on each floor, called a flat – 6 rooms (http://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/flat).
And for four months in 1993, I shared space with a Brit (and I can’t remember “shire” he hailed from), a dude from Vietnam, two dudes from Hong Kong, and the last, well … I really can’t remember his point of origin. We shared a kitchenette . . . where we often met for chats and/or tea (the universally known kind and not to be confused with the Brits’ tea – a term for lunch). We also all shared a bathroom.
This bathroom consisted only of a freestanding bath – what we know as a “tub”. The tub was fitted with one of the strangest bathroom taps I had ever seen. It roped out to a hand-held shower thingy. That’s how I cleaned myself, with a tap — “British” for “faucet.” There was a separate room for the loo (http://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/american/loo). It was a little less than what I had experienced in a US dorm a few years earlier. But it was fun, and rather spartan.
In the winter, the dorm was a little chilly and I’d say maybe even a little damp. While dark early – I’d say too that it probably rained a little bit — England. And standing at the basin in my room, yep, in my room — this is where I brushed my teeth and shaved. I longed for something like a set of heated towel rails to keep my towels toasty. . . though truthfully, I’m not even sure if they were on the market at the time. But at the time, I wasn’t necessarily thinking about the same things I do now . . . . I mean –
Some 18 years later, I wonder how the trades function in England – if carpentry maybe is part of the higher education system. I wonder if I were now working or living in England if I would know the “language” to use. I mean – in specing a bathroom recently, I selected a “shower base.” But would English supplier know what this is? They seem to refer to these items instead as shower trays.
It’d be like learning a new language, I am certain, and sure — the phrases like “cider and black” and “newkie brown” used in the pub called the Something and the Something came easy enough back in 1993. But I wonder how long it would take me to learn the “Language of the English Bathroom.”
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I returned from that trip with only a few quid (http://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/quid) in my pocket (and actually a student loan or two), but it remains one part of my life I would never change. Though I’ll admit — I could have done without the now, lifetime commitment to the words (phrases) “as well” and “indeed” …
Indeed!
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Thanks for reading. This article was inspired by conversations with the online bath store http://www.wdbathrooms.co.uk.
For more reading and for the possible origins of the word “loo” here >> http://kottke.org/05/02/loo-etymology.






Rather! (pronounced Raw-thah) I did not know you had lived in England for a bit. Guess what?! I also did a term abroad – in London, at London University. I was 18. I loved it. Except for Marmite. Nasty beef extract type of thing.