Mothers Day: Perfection is Terrible :: A Moxiful Reflection for Mother’s Day

Built By Tammy Dalton for Building Moxie & Published May 6, 2011.
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Mother’s Day is coming!  Happy Mother’s Day!  It’s the day we buy gifts and greeting cards for our Moms, and gratefully accept gluey-glittery-finger-painted foam magnets and other assorted craft projects from our loving children.

The projects will sit on a counter or be stuck to the refrigerator for a month or two until the day comes when Mom makes a choice: Put them in the keepsake box for the rest of her natural life (or at least until the kids are grown, and then gives them back to the kids), or throw them out.   Don’t look at me like that!  I have portfolios stuffed to the bursting point with the artistic creations of my children, but at some point, some things have to go.  I, as a mother, find myself regularly oscillating between conflicting mindsets of “Everything is precious,” and “Nothing is precious.”

Right now, I’m leaning towards “Nothing is precious.”

My house is a wreck.  It’s getting worse every day, because we are moving.  Pretty soon, I’ll be able to bring my big ideas and designer-angst to a new house, in a new town, and press the reset button on my life.  Packing up a house and moving all your belongings is one of the most daunting pressures ever, but with children underfoot, well, what can I say, except, “honey, make sure to leave the wine glasses out and the coffeemaker plugged in until the very last day.”

My husband and I have spent the last twelve years in one house, slowly accumulating all the flotsam and jetsam that typically build up around people over time as they go about the process of living.  And then we had children!  After that, the process of accumulation took on a whole other dimension.

Besides the artwork and projects that kids generate by the metric ton, have you seen the accessories, tools, clothing, objects, etc. that come with every doll, every Barbie, every stuffed animal?  My kids have play sets and toys that mimic real life in every detail, right down to miniature bottles of detergent, plastic coat hangers, tiny bottles of pretend nail polish, mail, plastic flowers in window planter boxes, horses with carriages, microwaves with fake turkeys, and the shoes!  Oh, the shoes!  Packing up a Barbie Dream House is like packing up my actual house.  Houses within houses within houses, ad infinitum.  It’s insane and surreal, and my kids don’t want to part with any of it.  (I’m working on that.)

However, one of the nice side effects of motherhood for me was that it helped me put “Stuff” into the proper perspective.  For every paint-splatter-cleaned-off carpet, every smashed Christmas ornament, every glass or bowl knocked off the table, every upholstered item used as a trampoline, threads unraveled, clothes stained, furniture marred with fingernails, blunt scissors, or even, yes, teeth; instead of tearing out my hair and lamenting “We can’t have nice things!!!” I have become better at identifying what is truly precious and what is not, and taking it all in stride. (Mostly.)

Living with and “managing” children is a lot like herding cats.

For a designer, used to planning, foresight, and contemplating every move and selection prior to making a decision or a home purchase, having children has allowed me to make friends (again) with spontaneity, think quicker on my feet, and welcome the Death of Perfection.  Just die already, Perfection!  Because you and I and the cats all know that:

“Perfection is terrible.  It cannot have children.” – Sylvia Plath- The Munich Mannequins

The Spontaneous Monsters have just attacked Dad!

A great Mother’s Day to all my fellow mommies, and instead of chasing your kids around with a bottle of Resolve, just chill out, and have an ice cream cone.  Just like kisses on boo-boos, ice cream makes it all better.  And now back to throwing out the Barbie Dream House packing.

Having some fun with the kiddies. Ice cream cures all ills, did you know that?

Note from the hosts:  Happy Mother’s Day Tammy — please everyone send your best for a safe and successful move.  Personally — I want you back and blogging more often.  Because bottom line — you’re awesome. ~jb