Peter Gabriel, Social Media & the Slow Learner
“Any social occasion, it’s hello, how do you do
All those introductions, I never miss my cue
So before a question, so before a doubt
My hand moves out and … I have the touch”
– Peter Gabriel – “I have the touch”
So much about social media invites a person to go fast. For some folks this works out fine as immersing oneself in social media is easy because the possibilities of the internet are downright stimulating. We have lived through the moment in time when casual connection became available despite distance. What about this is not exciting? I have met people online who astound me with their ability to stay connected to the web while maintaining a healthy balance with their offline life. You can tell them when you see them. They are thriving in the miraculous potential of it all.
As for me, I think I am a slow learner. I want to be a fast learner and thus dive right into things but when I do, I screw up a lot and often fail to meet my own expectations. This definitely happened with me in the realm of social media. I became enchanted with the touch and failed to take a preliminary look at the kind of time commitment I was fostering by my online actions, as my connections to others increased, so did my feeling of failing someone (by not holding up my end of the bargain) when I was busy offline. Also, I had the powerful feeling I was missing something when I was away. As life demanded me to be away more and more I ultimately felt like something of an internet failure. Now, I know all of this is subjective, but still it would trouble me so I forced myself to step back.
The bargain I spoke of in aside is a very simple human one. It is the bargain we make when our eyes meet another’s on the street and a good day is exchanged. It is also the bargain we enter into by chiming in on a forum and furthering the dialogue. Discussion cannot continue if the participants are not present and I felt like I had to remain present if I were involved. The bargain is, at its very basic, acknowledgment. I felt as though I was failing to acknowledge folks because of time restrictions and that felt horrible.
And still, I am here, often reading more than I add. I am drawn to the contact but have begun to learn that just because everything happens lightening fast online doesn’t mean that each one of us must see that energy and match it. Rather we get to invest in souls and their individual speeds, needs and nuances. And that just might be cooler than being born in any flashbulb moment.
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Hi Holly,
Social Media is a great tool like any other and like any other it can take some getting used to. I like that you are using it as such and that you are seeing results which encourage you.
I thought a lot about how I mange my own time as I read your article about putting down your tool belt. Best of luck with the new position.
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Barry
You are not alone in wrestling with the subjective feelings of obligation and acknowledgment with your participation in SM… I am learning, all too slowly, that one doesn’t have to be everywhere, all the time. It is enough to just be there, show your face – show your “real face”, validate the fact – and come through when necessary and needed. That is real value. Otherwise you may become a gadfly or a background noise – there is already too much of that – we are all seeking meaningfulness… real is worthwhile. And Gabriel is a poet among poets.
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b,
I likewise share your angst regarding these trade-offs between the offline and online worlds, and the feeling that one sometimes gets that trying to fully participate in one seems to unavoidably neglect the other. I think about these things quite a bit, actually.And perhaps the worst thing is the impression I seem to be cultivating in recent times that many of my long established off-line friends who decry SM and Twitter and refuse to participate in such interactions are slowly becoming … well…. a bit less interesting to me. That’s really disturbing.
And I am not quite sure how to reconcile those feelings, but they do arise. But in the end, the voice inside tells me don’t worry about it and keep doing what you’re doing and just forge ahead and write and publish and Tweet, etc.
But I am glad for this post and similar things you’ve written in the past, as it shows how thinking people wrapped up in SM are all experiencing more-or-less the same thing.
~John
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Hi John,
Thanks for your candor. Another whole tentacle of this here beast is the natural birth and death cycles of people and their relationships to one another.
I think that voice inside you has it right.
One interesting thing for me is that through writing this bit, and reading the comments, I have learned that what appear effortless and in balance from without has a corresponding within for someone on the other end.
Thanks for for your thoughts on this.
-b
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b,
Nice post…and man, do I know the feelings you write of.
Cheers,
mjh