Scientists have long wondered about the relationship between remodeling professionals and the arcane and secret ways in which they perform their tasks. Also frequently studied is their archaic mode of communication. Regional dialects have come under suspicion and some historians believe that the Tower of Babel story may indeed have a basis in fact.

A modern day example: a column in New Jersey becomes a cayoom in the Florida Panhandle, much to the distress of the Project Manager who can’t figure out why the University of Minnesota graduate working on his high rise is standing in place after being asked to hep me sep dem cayooms, or help me set them columns.

It gets worse when the site foreman from Alabama takes a job overseeing workers on a Cape Cod hotel project and is told to pack yah kaah, or park your car in the side lot. As you can imagine, this leads occasionally to some misunderstandings, from time to time. But maybe no worse than my experience with being a mason tender for recently-arrived Sicilian Italian tuck-pointers who used the word “mudder” and “Mudder” often times in the same sentence.  Both words having a different meaning, of course, as in “mudder tender,” being what I did, supplying mortar and Mudder ******* as in “get more mud you stupid Mudder *******.”

Science being quick to offer speculative theories has had no success explaining the relationship, if any, between The Plumbers Crack and the Mariana Trench. Both sizable fissures that have denied explorers for the last century. The Mariana Trench has recently been photographed and been found to contain undiscovered species of deep water fish; the Plumbers Crack however has not been proven to support life and further study is hampered by a lack of volunteers. Studies of the Plumbers Crack will continue when technology catches up to the demands of science and an unmanned vehicle can be employed for these explorations.

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Note from the hosts:  Paul Lesieur is the voice and energy behind the website Remodel Crazy.  Full of stories, we are happy anytime he can stop by with one.  This is post was originally published on his blog here.  Check it out.