image via Nick Lovelady

Snow in 1980

In 1979 my parents bought their first house, a 560 square foot matchbox that was covered in Kudzu (a foot-a-night vine that has virtually eaten entire chunks of the South). The first time that my father showed his prize new property to his soon-to-be bride he had to cut said Kudzu off the front stoop in order for them to enter and see the small, country house.

Shortly after being married and moving in my parents decided to start two projects, each I doubt they expected to take as long as they have: Remodeling their house and building a family.

I have faint recollections of the small home my young parents moved into – I do remember the initial major renovation – I was four years old. The day the ceiling came down was particularly memorable. My grandfather and father pulled the living room ceiling down as mother and I watched from the front porch. I’m sure the asbestos dust, lead paint and ancient insulation are why we are the way we are. Still, I was mesmerized by the project.

That particular addition added over 1500 square feet and a brother and sister. Later a play room, den and garage swelled the house’s footprint even more. Because we were in the country, barn expansions, a hay barn and pump house took additional construction time. Before our family moved in the mid 1990′s, the initial square footage had grown fivefold.

The bottom line of the story is that in each stage of the development of my childhood home, we kids were part of the construction crew.  Only once, that I remember, did we contract out any of the labor.

Now that I have a home of my own, thinking of taking on a major renovation or tripling the square footage in a single swoop almost makes my head spin – and that’s just thinking about it. The common stresses of a remodel don’t affect the psyche of a child – resilience reigns. Remodeling for children is a game – an opportunity to truly grow one’s home.

There are so many ways that parents can involve their children in a project. Does it take longer? Sure. Will you have a bigger mess than the one you’ve already made? Probably. Will the kids laugh at your expense when you fall off the ladder and fracture ribs? Guaranteed (yes it actually happened. Dad later told us that had he been able to get to us we would’ve gotten it!) The knowledge acquired is immeasurable, and it offers the opportunity of a young ‘un to take ownership and be proud of the end result. We as building professionals too often overlook the elementary lessons in seemingly complex planning – laying out studs for new walls, mastering a real measuring tape (the ones with the little lines), or counting tiles for a run. I don’t think that children are effective framers or roofers, even though we tried our best to do both (last time we carried bundles of roof shingles up a ladder I swore I would never do it again).

I had a quick talk with Mom about this very topic the other day, and as I approach 30 we realized that my parents have been entrenched in a construction project of some flavor for at least 27 of my 29 and a half years- for each project, not only have my siblings and I been involved, but often consulted. Now whether or not our ideas were considered is irrelevant – we had a part in the project.

My parents live in a house now without children, until of course my little brother takes his brood of four little ones over. Already my nieces and nephew are getting the same dose of sawdust that we got. As Ben Franklin so wisely said, An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.

So before you start that remodel, plan to involve your children. They are a part of the team, after all. When you get stressed out about deadlines and budgets going through the roof, take a cue from your kids – Learn a lesson, don’t give up and create a lasting memory with your family.

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Note from the hosts: (Wiping the tear from our eyes) We’d like to thank Nick for this simply incredible post.  Remodeling is an activity I try to involve my own children in, and this post really resonates. Nick can be found blogging at http://cupboardsonline.com.  He may also be found on Twitter @Cupboards. Nick is based in Sylacauga, AL. Thanks again Nick! jb